Can’t Wait go Bed!

Hello on this sad day! Not a good day to start a blog. Our thoughts go out to the 91,000 families who have lost their loved ones. I’m sure that many blogs will feature this news.

I was thinking about sleep the other day, how I long for it because of all the things we have to deal with as chronically ill people; looking death in the face on a day to day basis. The pressured environment we live in doesn’t help; constant assessments of one sort or another. I long for escape, both physically and psychologically: I guess I am not alone in this

‘Can’t Wait Go Bed!’ is a phrase one of my care’s and me say every day. She’s OK financially, but coping with the fallout of her adult kid’s lives on a daily basis. She escaped the DWP nightmare, but something else took it’s place, as often does in this mixed up world. We text CWGB!!! It’s the escape from life, the longing for it, that beckons.

I heard this quote from Shakespeare’s Macbeth the other day, and it seemed to fit:

Methought I heard a voice cry, “Sleep no more!

IDS does murder sleep”—the innocent sleep,

Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care,

The death of each day’s life, sore labor’s bath,

Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,

Chief nourisher in life’s feast.

Macbeth Act 2 Scene 2 Line 3

I guess you spotted the insertion where ‘Macbeth’ was supposed to feature!

 ‘Sleep…the balm of hurt minds

Yes, sleep the balm of hurt minds. I can’t wait to go to bed because being awake is nearly always not a pleasant experience. I do try; I keep telling myself for now that I have a (lovely) roof over my head, food in the cupboard, friends and family and so on. But I get sicker and sicker every day. I say this day is the worst day of my life, and then there’s another and another, on and on. I long for my bed. The security of complete escape. Well, that is if I don’t get woken up in agony with my heart, or any other part of my body.

I wake up surprised: I’m still alive! I thank God. And then I have to go through it all over again. Although miserable I’m still thankful that I’m alive. I don’t know how or even why, but I’m grateful. I guess life could be worse than this, and that I must accept as it comes my way.

It’s hard enough as many of you will know, without the one who ‘does murder sleep’ as well, or, just murders…

R.I.P With heartfelt thoughts to you and yours…

Sasson Hann

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