Ok, I am about to step away now.
I had a reality check today. I’m basically housebound in that I only leave the house now when I absolutely have to. From day to day I wander around, and around. I do the same things, speak to the same people, try to cope with the enormity of what I’m facing, whilst very aware of other people’s experiences of life, and saying a little prayer that they will come through all of this too.
A dear reader; you know who you are, told me something of their background today; it is very sad and soul destroying. I wish that I was well, so that you and your mum could come for a little break. I live in a semi rural area, in social housing, but the house looks out over the Cheshire Plains.
It’s been the only thing that’s kept me going. Now of course, I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to stay here. I spent a lot on the place putting 2 log burners in and making a beautiful garden, because it was my home for life, but as we know, we could lose it at any point due to government policy.
That said, I feel very sad that I can’t at least share the little joy that it brings me. I’ve tried to detach myself from it however; it’s not ‘mine’ any more; still, I’d like to have a houseful like I used to: people laughing, singing, and dancing (with a tree believe it or not) in the garden; children running around and throwing water bombs at each other; nice food and excellent company all round: all gone now.
It isn’t much: no one wanted to live here at one time; wouldn’t touch it with a barge-pole, but greedy eyes started to notice how nice some houses had become – mostly due to tenants taking a pride in what they’d been given for life. I’ll never forget what a Conservative minister said when he was visiting a new housing estate: ‘It’s rather too good for social housing isn’t it?’ We can’t have that you see, housing that is well built and maintained; no, too good for the likes of us!
Dear reader, I wish you were here, by my fireside tonight, and if they cure my heart problem, perhaps you could come and stay for a few days; I would really love that.
What was once a given right for those of us without the means for living, now taken as they please; just a house, not a home.